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This is wonderful and heartfelt. If you ever want to talk to someone who feels similarly confused and elated by the genderqueer/genderfluid/trans* spectrum, I always love to talk about gender.
One thing I have been thinking about recently: when I or someone else says something is “natural/instinctive/hardwired” – if “habitual” can easily replace it, then it’s really something we’ve been trained to. And if that’s the case, then change is possible!
Secondly, you may want to check out Kate Bornstein’s book, My Gender Workbook. I found it incredibly helpful in deconstructing how I thought about gender, and how I had been trained to think about it.
Blessings to you!
Thank you so much for reading and for your comments. OF COURSE, I want to sit down and discuss this with you.
In my mind, “hardwired” is synonymous with “habitual,” which is why I used it here. But I get how others might make more of a distinction and I appreciate your thoughts on that. I also really appreciate the tip on Kate Bornstein’s book. I definitely need direction on the reading front, so many thanks!
Hi Katy (and other Jill S.),
Sally just sent the blog to me and I just finished reading Part I. Then I saw a comment by Jill S. and had to stop and think if I completely forgot I’d already read and responded to this hahaha… since I also would be happy to talk about gender and was about to recommend Kate Bornstein!
I also identify as genderqueer (but more neutral/genderless than gender fluid) and switch between they/their and she/her. I don’t mind people using she/her in reference to me… since I so strongly identify as a feminist. It is very confusing, even for those of us who identify as such!
Like I told Sally (Olson, my aunt 🙂 I would be happy to chat with you and/or Enzo, and you both are welcome to read/follow my tumblr which I linked to. I often post things about gender identity and sexual orientation. (Also feminism, ethnic/race relations, and pop culture… especially the TV show Once Upon a Time lol).
I look forward to catching up on your following genderqueer blogs and reading your others!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate your reaching out.
I will connect with you & Tumblr and hopefully we can talk soon!
I’ve done some work over the last year with this group as a photographer. Looks like I’ll be involved again in 2014. It’s a terrific conference and I learned a ton about myself, gender identity and the trans community. See ya soon! Cynthia
Thank you so much for these links, Cynthia. I’ve been thinking about going to this. Would love to discuss with you sometime soon!
[…] couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about my efforts to better understand gender issues, especially as they relate to gender diversity […]
[…] In case you’ve missed my previous posts and are interested in catching up, please check out “Genderqueer-Part I” and “Genderqueer-Part II.” […]
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© 2018 Katy Bourne | site by Origin Web Design | photos by Steve Korn
Katy Bourne is a Jazz Singer and Writer.