Katy Bourne


Our Creative Lives: Courage

POSTED ON February 03, 2012 | POSTED IN: My Blog, Our Creative Lives | 2 Comments

Courage

According to the Cowardly Lion, courage is “what makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk.”  John Wayne said, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” And the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.” Clearly, courage is a big subject. I think about it a lot.

I have spent the better part of my life standing on the edge of a high dive with my heart pounding furiously in my chest. I’ve made many a bold move while trembling in my boots. A lot of my friends describe me as “fearless,” although the truth of the matter is that I’m scared a lot of the time. Courage, in my experience, is when the desire to “go for it” is greater than the fear.

But as the Merriam-Webster definition says, courage is also the ability to endure difficulty. When my sister was undergoing chemotherapy, many people told her how courageous she was. They said the same thing to me while I was grieving the death of my baby, some twenty years ago. But all we were doing was putting one foot in front of the other, trying to find our way through painful and bewildering circumstances. What else could we do? It’s not like either of us were particularly extraordinary. Sometimes I think courage is simply the product of no other alternatives.

highly courageous

In our creative lives, I think that courage comes down to willingness: willingness to let the world really see you; willingness to expose your vulnerabilities; willingness to trust your own resilience and, finally, willingness to express your truth without apology. In my creative experience, courage is the love child of willingness and intention. My creative yearnings often take me out there “where angels fear to tread.” Yet if I want to realize all possibilities for expression, I have to be willing to be uncomfortable sometimes.

Courage isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice.

I’ve recently made the decision that I won’t shy away from writing about my political opinions here on this blog. I used to have a separate blog for political commentary. I was concerned that if I were too political here, it might cost me gigs or potential writing jobs. However, I found that keeping up with two blogs was extremely difficult. But more so, it became increasingly clear to me that the political activist, the writer, the jazz vocalist and the mom are not separate entities. I can’t compartmentalize my sensibilities. In the gathering political storm, I sense direct threats to my children and my family. As any mother animal would do, I respond accordingly. In my case, it starts with a roar and a blog post. I can’t worry about other people’s approval. As I said before, courage is the willingness to speak your truth without apology. Courage is also the willingness to go to any length to protect your family.

In our creative lives and beyond, every day is a stroll through the unknown.  Still, we go about our business. We write. We paint. We reach out. We take chances. We submit the proposal. We go to the audition. We call for the test results. We ask him/her out for coffee. We open our hearts. We endure. We make beautiful plans in a climate of obdurate ambiguity.

Courage is necessary.

OK peeps, I’ve got the ball rolling. It’s your turn now.  How do you define courage and what does it mean in your life?  Can you share a story or experience  about a time when you felt particularly courageous? Talk to me.

 

***

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

– Anais Nin

Comments

2 responses to “Our Creative Lives: Courage”

  1. Katy, I love “every day is a stroll through the unknown”. It’s so true and we try so hard to live our todays based on our yesterdays. I had a birthday yesterday, I am 66. Although that sounds “old”, I do not feel old, I feel like myself as I have always been. I am at a point in my life where I am tempted to spend time looking at chances not taken and opportunities missed. I feel my lack of courage strongly when these thoughts come. I prefer to think of the chances taken. Traveling to Europe, Mexico, and Asia by myself. Raising a child. (And if you don’t think that takes courage, dear reader, you are not a parent.) Speaking up for myself when every fiber of my being wanted desperately to just disappear into a safe place. Leaving a secure job for a high risk family business.

    In the present, there are things I want to do that require courage, and it seems easier to find now that the stakes aren’t as high as they were when I was younger and had to be perfect. I am going full bore ahead on a big vegetable garden and food preservation. My farm grandma is probably laughing at me from the Great Beyond. She knew that stuff in and out. I want to become a better needleworker and my city grandma no doubt finds that hilarious as I paid no attention to her when she tried to teach me to crochet. I want to start a life skills group for women just out of jail. Something that looks like a sewing group but provides mentoring to women who didn’t have anyone to teach them about how to get along in the world (legally). I find all these things somewhat scary — what if the garden fails, what if I just can’t do better needlework, what if I have a group and no one comes? In the past, I would have let these fears stop me from going ahead. Now that I am required to be less perfect I have no qualms about stepping off the edge and going for it.

    On an interpersonal level I have to dig deep for courage. But that’s a story for another day.

    Thanks for the opportunity to talk about this.

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Katy Bourne is a Jazz Singer and Writer.