All In

For the past several months, I’ve been slamming and jamming to promote my book “Weirdo Simpatico.” I’m not sure I’ve ever worked this hard or with this much intensity. The to-do list has been long. Many of the tasks have required me to wander into unfamiliar territory and to put myself out there in new ways. I’m figuring stuff out, making stuff up and, as hard as it is for me to do, asking favors – lots of them. It’s been exhilarating, exhausting, bewildering and joyful. Much of the time, I feel like a trapeze artist with no net. I could crash so hard. The potential is there. Still, hesitation is out of the question. And stopping is not an option….because I’m all in.

All in.

To go all in is to take your highest intention, your boldest optimism and your entire heart and move forward with a singular focus and no thought of turning back. It is turbo-charged devotion. It is banking on the best of all things and a willingness to expend whatever resources you have-mental, emotional, physical and fiscal- to realize a driving vision. Failure can menace on the horizon. But to go all in is to give yourself to something bigger than winning or losing; the act itself is ultimately more potent than the outcome.

Of course, there is a high level of risk involved. When you’ve given everything you have, there are a million ways for your heart to get broken. And going all in can be lonely. There will be naysayers and onlookers and those who remain stubbornly silent. You are taking this enormous leap and it’s like, “Do you see this? Do you see what I’m doing here?” But some just will not feel you or even see you. And this will hurt. But this is only a minor part of the story.

Conversely, unexpected angels will come out of nowhere to help you. Magnanimous beings will step forward to offer assistance. They will freely give ideas, time, love and support. They will carry you through the uncertainties and believe in you when you question yourself. They will buy in completely and take you even higher. This has been my experience. northcity2

I have also observed that when you go all in, you start to see more possibilities, everywhere. Colors pop. Faces beam. Inspiration zips around like a bottle rocket. You move through the day with newfound enthusiasm. You have that mad infectious energy, like someone in love. You become a little more fearless. You expand. When you go all in, something significant shifts. All the things you are afraid of are still there. But they don’t matter as much.

I am not delusional. I do not believe my little book will propel me to fame or a higher tax bracket. Bu this was never the intent anyway. Instead, it was to offer up something of myself to the world and to usher it, with love, to points unknown. I have never felt this vulnerable or this powerful. The vulnerability, of course, lies in the cruel fear that what I have brought will be met with ambivalence. But the power is in the unwavering knowledge that I am absolutely doing the right thing, no matter the end result, whatever it may be.

I will always be able to say I went for it.