Imagine Yourself in a Cage Fight with him


It’s been pretty fucking awful.

We knew it would be, but the frenetic pace and the depth of depravity has been difficult for even the most battle hardened to fully process. It’s like a blitz in football, a defensive strategy that has multiple defenders at the line of scrimmage, rushing the quarterback at once, creating disruption, chaos and, in some instances, panic. I’m sure the term was appropriated from the German “ blitzkrieg,” which is a military attack that employs the very same technique. The point is to come in so fast and so heavy that anyone on the receiving end is disoriented and shocked to the point of paralysis. And this is what we’ve been experiencing the past week.

Our sensibilities are mangled. Almost any feeling on the spectrum of human emotion is probably appropriate to this moment. And the feelings are enormous, at least for me. Scorching rage. Existential despair. Fear. But I have to remind myself that this is exactly how they want us to feel. They want us to be debilitated, deregulated and exhausted. When I remember this, it bolsters my resolve to not give them what they want.

It’s easy to have an immediate strong reaction to every incoming affront. However, this is not good for me. It raises my cortisol levels and compromises my cognition. And for me to remain in such an elevated state for an extended period of time will only weaken me for the sure battles ahead. So, when I find myself spinning off- or as the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön so aptly calls it, “thrown out of the nest”- I do what I can to reset, return to the present moment and refocus on what I can do in this collective nightmare we’re living. Sometimes I have to go through this re-centering process several times a day. It empowers me to fixate on my bottom line: to protect my trans daughter at any and all costs.

I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know. We all know what they’re trying to do to us and to the people we love. We’re all trying to find our way. In the off chance you’d like a suggestion, I’d love to share a visualization that might empower you in those darker moments.

Imagine Yourself in a Cage Fight with him.

This would be a bare hands battle: no weapons, so sniveling sycophants, no frothing chuds. It would be just the two of you. What would your strategy be? How would you strike first? Would if be an open-handed bitch-slap? Or maybe your preference would be a hard uppercut? Would you use your fingernails? Would you scream? Mind you, there could be challenges. I suspect he’s a biter. But he has tiny hands and moves slowly. Close your eyes and really visualize. 98% of the people reading this could most definitely kick his big orange ass. What would this look like for you? More importantly, how would you feel?

One last thing on the blitz;  While it has the aforementioned advantages, it comes with considerable risk. When the majority of your defenders are focused on creating havoc at the line of scrimmage, the downfield is wide open and vulnerable to whatever the offense might choose to do.

There are two sides to every strategy, and this is a long game. Let’s pace ourselves accordingly.