Today is my 55th birthday. The Sammy Hagar tune “I Can’t Drive 55” keeps running through my head. It occurs to me that someday my kids will take my car keys away from me. After all, I am creeping closer to that golden age. I just hope to God that when they do, it’s the result of a high speed chase across multiple counties and not because of some embarrassing fender bender in a Costco parking lot. But back to the birthday, it’s a weird…
Seattle, May 2016 As he put a few remaining things into his backpack and took care of a couple last minute tasks, like vacuuming his room and boxing up his computer, it took everything I had to keep from crying. Trying not to cry takes enormous effort. It’s like wrestling a bear or beating back a wildfire. My chest constricted. It was hard to breathe. A swell of sadness rolled through my body, too strong to contain or manage. But I…
This all started with a very large bag of flour. A few months ago, my 21-year old son Emmett and his friend Tucker needed a kitchen to make some bagels for a potential business venture they were considering. Although Emmett has his own apartment, he doesn't cook there–too many cockroaches. (At one point or another, most of us have lived in such a dwelling. It’s a young bohemian’s rite of passage.) They asked to use my kitchen and I, being the proud and supportive mom of…
Circumstances have a way of taking unforeseen turns and sometimes we find ourselves in a situation of living apart from our minor children. There can be a multitude of reasons–divorce, financial issues, geographical moves or even the kid’s own choice–but typically this is not the scenario we’d envisioned when we became mothers. We imagined that we had more time, at least 18 years, and we didn’t expect to be staring at an empty nest so early in the game. It’s a course shift of epic…
It seems the world has gone mad. There are airstrikes (again) in Iraq. Brief, uneasy ceasefires notwithstanding, there is fighting (still) on the Gaza Strip. Ebola continues its somber rage across West Africa. Airplanes are blown from the sky or fall silently to points unknown and never found. Closer to home, frightened children are detained at the border. Mothers fall to their knees as senseless shootings crackle through summer nights again and again and again. Smart and willing souls struggle to find…
A few days ago, I celebrated my 52nd birthday. It was a low-key day without much fuss and hoopla. As far as passages go, 52 is a benign year. Nobody is excitedly awaiting your arrival but they haven’t called in the gravediggers yet either. It’s a good place from which to float and observe. Considering you’re past the midway point on the giant climb, the view is vast. It spans all directions, inside and out. Oprah is always going on about “what I know for…
Dedicated, with mad love always, to my fabulous E's. Mother’s Day. For such a quirky little holiday, it sure kicks up a lot of emotional dust. I'm not particularly sentimental but I've been reminiscing a bit lately. In honor of the day, here are 15 things I wish my mother had told me: 1. It’s important to take care of yourself, no matter what. You have to attend to your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs on a daily basis. Sleep. Eat clean. Breath deeply.…
This post has been temporarily removed. Kate Bornstein *** Stay with us. Don’t sink to the bottom like a fish going to sleep. Be with the ocean moving steadily all night, not scattered like a rainstorm. The spring we’re looking for is somewhere in this murkiness. See the night-lights up there traveling together, the candle in its gold dish. Don’t slide into the cracks of ground like spilled mercury. When the full moon comes out, look around.…
